The Life of The Party Planning Professor-Celebrate the Silver Lining

In full disclosure:  I realize that this post is very personal and can be considered unprofessional.  I apologize to those that expect higher of me, but one of the biggest learning business experience I have ever had was while I was sick and bed ridden. (my sickness can be considered a blessing)  To those that have known my story from the get go and have been asking and deserve an answer and a conclusion to my story.  For those that are not a familiar with my story and have recently casted judgement on me, I am hurt.  Not because you have become “unfriend”ly but because you are to busy judging me and trying to change the inevitable, you have not taken the time to learn about what really hurts me and is my sickness, what IS my life.  You have not taken the time to love me and be supportive and overall you have not taken a moment to care.  I am writing this post for two reasons.  One is to let those that have wondered where I have been for the last 3 1/2 weeks virtually…..thanks for you concern I am fine, I have been experiencing life.(yeah)  The second reason is because life in itself can be hard and when people IRL do not understand you makes it harder.  Hopefully, this will be my last post of my sickness.  It will briefly show you where I have come from and where things will probably be for the rest of my life……and “I think” I am ok with that.

This post has been coming for a long time. In fact, it is 1:20 am and I am sitting here typing barely asleep…..I mean awake. (somewhere probably in between?) I can’t get some zzzzs, things are on my mind”…which you have to admit is kinda funny since my brain injury is the reason for all of this(more on that below) I am not sure what I am going to say in this post.  (which probably leaves me in a dangerous position of being overly transparent and brutally honest…..um yikes?) Never the less, people are left clueless, and not knowing what to think about my sickness so I am sure that this post was/is a long time coming.  At this moment, I am not even sure what to call this post.  Any ideas???? I am sure I will come up with something fitting….

So what ever happened to me? Did I have a remarkable recovery? Did they find out what is wrong with me? You, probably along with my MANY family members have been asking this question WITH me. Life is hard, and sometimes you get dealt a really bad-bad-bad hand from the deck of cards. I was. I still am.(this is why I don’t gamble) Let me explain.

I am not recovered. Some days it is a struggle to get out of bed in the morning. We, I guess I should say “I”, have many theories on this, one is because when I finally fall asleep my blood pressure drops. This comes with autonomic dysnomia, a confirmed diagnosis from accredited hospitals.

(evidently even accredited hospitals don’t mean much to skeptics- The skeptics, critics- a.k.a.- friends/family members that have been so brutally mean and overall have probably been the worst pill I have had to swallow through this whole thing. I am being honest and hoping if you read this post and something like this comes like this bring a warm cup of tea….not a jagged little pill)

I will count my blessings though.  I am better. I have learned that my blood pressure works better in hot weather….because theoretically my blood vessels constrict and cause less blood to drain from my head.  You will probably see me at the beach with jeans on.  Don’t be worried, I am still me and NO I am not hot….because evidently I have lost my ability to sweat. This is unconfirmed by a doctor but confirmed by my husband and I.  (evidently even our opinions don’t mean much to the skeptics either)  I still suffer from a paralyzed stomach and consume juice, not vegetable juice(I should but I don’t…so much work and hard to swallow) but superfruit juice like Acai and Resveratrol.  They do help me. (yet a personal opinion-unconfirmed by a man in a lab coat……but by the person who has the paralyzed stomach in her body..but “what does she know“……if it means anything)

I do have P.O.T.S.  (If you want to know more about it, here is a video about P.O.T.s) I do suffer many days but have learned to tough it out.  NOTHING WAS AS BAD as the days I sat behind a computer unable to listen to my children laughing, unable to drive, unable to listen to my son learn to play the piano.  I am thankful that the computer was my only escape. It kept me learning….a skill that later would benefit my family financially and many businesses. When I was on the medicine that the doctor prescribed to me to raise my blood pressure…..I was deteriorating….I WAS NOT GETTING BETTER.  I was dying.  I will stand by that statement till the day I do die and am thankful that the day has been prolonged …….  The medicine that was prescribed in a low dose and slowly raised to a lethal (over the recommended amount) was slowly killing me and getting off of it was the smartest, scariest, bravest move “I” have ever had to make.  I had to do it alone.  I had no choice.  I had to take a stand for me…..I barely could stand at that moment in my life but I did.  I do not regret it.  I embrace it.  I am proud of taking a step away and making my life better for not just me but those that depend on me.

Have I made a remarkable recovery? I am healing and I am remarkable.(hehehe) How ever I have not made a “remarkable recovery” and a miracle has not occurred.   I have battled some very deep deep demons and I will never forget what that was like.

• It has made me learn how to stand up for myself and what I believe in.
• It has made me realize that each day is a gift.
• It has taught me how to credit myself with surviving.

I had to take my health into my own hands, away from my doctors, away from my family, and get down to what would make me be the best Mom I can be.  It’s hard….I will never be the mom I dreamed of being.  The one that gets up early to play loud music (music still hurts) and be crazy(that is up for debate).  The mom that teaches her kids through experience and play.  The mom that jumps in puddles and swings on swings next to them <————-  I won’t be that mom.    That is hard for me to say but I am honest with myself.  I may not be that super mom that I dreamed off, but I am still here.  There were many of days that I questioned the possibility of that.  That has been tough. I still am remarkable for being able to take a shower, for being able to rally concerned citizens on a certain topic, to throw an event that “may” make a difference in someones life…..maybe….one day.  That is my hope anyway.

Did “they” find out what was wrong with me? “They” may have helped in the discovery.  We feel that somewhere down the line I had suffered a brain injury.   We can pinpoint a day back in OCT of 2007 that caused me to show signs that I had a concussion but I feel that I had other injuries before that.  (I have had retinal detachments and other symptoms of brain trauma in my past)  I feel that October 2007, was just the straw that broke the camels back.  Unfortunately, “delayed” traumatic/mild/severe brain injuries (info at bottom of page) IS A VERY real thing.  It seems that I have had one.  It is nice to find a reason or date to point to but we will never know for sure.  But this I do know.

• You can be your own worst enemy
• Your family can be your own worst enemy
• Your doctor can be your worst enemy
• You can be you own best friend
• Your family “can” be a support group…..if they choose to be.
• strangers can be angels sent from God to help you through trying times (I had quite a few
• and doctors…….well I am still trying to figure out which ones I like and do not.

NEVER the LESS, You are in charge of your own health, not a stranger that barely knows you with a prescription pad in his pocket wearing scrubs and talking to you about something they have never experienced. Maybe this has given you a glimpse of the HELL we have experienced the last 2 years going on 3.  I am surprised by the things I have been able to achieve and I have been blessed by the support I have gotten from surprising places.

If you feel the need to ever judge a friend or family member for what they are going through think of this.

Those that say that “it is all in their head” are wrong right.
Hard to believe but think about it. Even the healthiest person with pain is connected neurologically to being “in your head.” When you hurt your arm, the nerves in you arm send a message “to your head” that something is not right.  In all retrospect, we all have pain that is in “our head”.  Your brain calculates the pain…..and “in my case” if your brain isn’t calculating….that not only is the brain confused, that person’s body is confused, and that person is confused.  Just make the situation better…..don’t make it worse.  You may not understand, or ever understand what is going on in someone else’s situation but…..throwing stones, calling names, making theories, talking about the person behind their back will never do anything but cause more confusion and bruises.

Share on Facebook

Elizabeth Norton is a Mother, Writer and Dreamer. She has created Party Planning Professor and loves sharing her party know how and experience with others. Elizabeth is currently struggling with health issues but she will not let it get her down. She is continuing to try to have the celebration mentality because she has lots to celebrate. Elizabeth is married to a wonderful man that supports her crazy dreams when they are just new ideas that have been dreamed up. Thanks for visiting and feel free to express your opinions. I love independent thinkers and is thankful that the world is not filled with only Elizabeth's because the world would be one boring place. :) Thanks for reading!!!