Whats wrong with me….Part 1
The Story of my sickness….Part 1
I have been trying to write this post for 6 months. It obviously isn’t one that is easy for me to write. People know that I am sick, but they are not sure with what. It’s something I have needed to write but couldn’t because I didn’t know the answer. I will start at the very beginning (a very great place to start.)
Once upon a time(ha I wish….here is my life in rewind starting around Thanksgiving 2007)
It started out with severe vomiting. I wondered if I had lost my mind. It was often enough at first to think I was catching the flu every week. It then grew to the point were I couldn’t hold anything down? Was I a 27 year old mother. “What was up with this,” I thought. What was my issue? I really wanted to know what the “dealE yo” was.
I went to my doctor and she pretty much dismissed my complaints. (Which doctors do often) She recommended counseling and ordered some blood work. I left the doctors office feeling confused. I am a mom. At that point, a foster mom. Now, all the sudden, I could have an eating disorder or I am crazy???? The doctor seemed to think this was mental think. Maybe mind over matter? I know one thing, I was pretty sure this was not what I wanted. It didn’t make sense. Yet, this was the doctor’s answer.
I followed directions and found a counselor. I mean certainly if I was making myself sick, I needed to stop. I had a business to run, kids to take care of, I don’t have time to be sick let alone me bringing it out on my own. At this point I didn’t care, I just wanted to get better.
So, if the doctor was open to the idea of me being crazy, then I needed to do what she said right? I mean after all SHE was the doctor, not me. You trust the almighty wearer of the white coat right?
Within a week, I got a call from the doctor’s office. This was a surprise seeing that last week I was crazy. (hmmmmmm) Saying that one of my tests came back positive for H. Pylori and over the phone the receptionist called in heavy duty antibiotics to take. That was the end of our conversation. It was all in a matter of minutes.
I remember thinking, to my delight, I no longer had mental issues instead I had a gross bacteria growing in my stomach that needed intense antibiotics. I don’t know why this was good news to me but it was. I was so easily convinced I was bringing this on myself I was relieved to know that there was a solution other than what the doctor had said…..”mental” issues. I quickly looked up H. Pylori and found the cause to be gross , such as, bad food, tainted water, fecal matter. It wasok though because the bacteria was getting killed by these miracle drugs. Little did I know, that the solution was really our first clue things were really wrong.
After the course of antibiotics were finished my life became harder not easier. I began to have fainting spells and was constantly tired. I slept over 12 hours a day. This was not good. Being a Mom and 12 hours of sleep doesn’t go over well in a household that needs you.
We stopped fostering which was one of the most heartbreaking acts for me to do. DYFS would call and I would have to say no. No isn’t an easy thing to say. Especially when you are hearing a terrible story about a child that needs to be loved. Loving them, I could still do, taking care of them, I couldn’t. So we closed our doors to fostering and began to search for some more answers to my medical problems. We still had so many questions? Why was I always so tired. Why was I always fainting? Why was my vision failing me at times? Why? Why? Why? (Feb 2008)
I pleaded with the doctor as I returned to the office. Since sleep is a sign of depression……What do you think she recommended? It was quickly suggested to once again go to a counselor(what the doctor didn’t know was that I had never stopped seeing my counselor). I went home desperate for someone to help.
My counselor was clueless too. She didn’t think I seemed depressed other then being sad that I was sick. She sent my to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist and I became great buds. After each session I would ask him what is wrong with me- the only thing he could suggest was that I was a little disorganized and may have ADHD. (Hmmmm interesting, LOL, I always wondered if I had that, but this really wasnt an “answer” to the current situation) Back then, I needed an answer. We as a team, between my counselor, psychiatrist decided it was unlikely I was depressed.
As a I researched more and more about H. Pylorie I became aware that I needed to go to a gastro doctor.(April 08)
I made an appointment and talked with him. He definitely wanted to explore more options. I was scheduled the next week for an upper endoscopy and lower endoscopy. I remember getting put under the and begging the doctor to find out what was wrong with me. I knew my quality of life was declining……we just didn’t know why. When I awoke fromanesthesia I cried because everything turned out fine (no wonder why the doctors think I am loopy LOL). I explained to my gastro doctor that I knew something was wrong. He wanted me to take some more tests.
(June)
I took more tests one which included eating and drinking radiation and laying still under a camera for two hours. (Did I mention I had ADHD…..this was torture). I survived the 2 test (2 hours each) one for eating and one for drinking. (Thinking about it brings back the taste…..yuck 
) My husband sat by me the whole time because it was so hard. For this kind of test you can not be sedated because that would slow down my body. What they were keeping track of was my stomach and digestive speed in real time.
I went home happy that Friday and was relieved that it was over.
By Monday that week I got a phone call saying to come in. I scheduled an appointment for Thursday knowing I was going to hear some bad news.
In the days leading up, I went and researched what the test was/could tell me. One was cancer (yikes) the other was gastroparesis. I was sad, scared, but happy-yeah happy-because finally I was going to figure out what was wrong with me. Or would I????……….
Related posts:
Elizabeth Norton has a heart for enjoying every moment that has been given. With her own 2 little boys and her husband, she has lots to celebrate. She has a place in her heart for foster care reform. 
May 18th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Okay where is part two… im on the edge of my seat.
May 18th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
In my journey to my diagnosis with multiple sclerosis I was often told it was in my head (and it is, my brain that is, lesions on it). Good for your for advocating for yourself. I’ll be back to see the conclusion of your story.
Prayers and hugs!
May 18th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Doctors love that “It’s in your head business.” It almost killed my sister…
Can’t wait to read the rest!
May 29th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
I am reading backwards through your story. (Next time I should remember to start at the beginning. @@)
I had a very strange experience with a mystery disease that was never diagnosed to my satisfaction. Fortunately my symptoms have not returned for some time. But I can relate to the feelings of helplessness and frustration of no diagnosis. It’s awful.
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