In the summer months, our house has a revolving door which I am sure comes with the territory of living near the shore. Relatives and long lost friends often stop by for a weekend get-away. Usually, it is a quick visit as they escape the normalcy of their daily routines, as they live somewhere far from the beach. In these days when our roof is hospitable to more than our family, it is often that the boys share a room, or they are “supposed” to share a room. No sooner than our first guests of the summer left, Mr. 5 year old found that we were less likely to put up the fight if he were to sleep in our room instead of sharing one with his baby brother. I give my son credit for creatively finding my husband and my own weaknesses as we try to keep the peace in the early hours of the morning, when he usually makes his move. As we try to keep everyone(including our guests) sleeping safe and sound, I wonder if I am damaging my marriage at a full night rest’s expense welcoming Mr. 5 year old into our room.
My best friend, an avid co-sleeper with her husband and her children, learned that she was expecting and immediately made plans to upgrade to a King size bed to better accommodate her growing family. As a younger child, I remember my Father coming home from a overnight shift of work and kicking my siblings and I out of my parent’s room. Their marriage and all of their children lived through their decision to what I have named a “part-time” co-sleeping arrangement. Although some of my siblings are not fully grown, I strongly believe that we have not lost out on any proper bonding time with my mom or dad. My mother on the other hand swears that she lost many hours of sleep due to my tossing and turning (for some reason my husband has sympathy to this statement).
Co-Sleeping is not a stranger to controversy. Unfortunately (or fortunately) my husband and I have never taken a firm stance on the issue. We have excepted the moments with our children sleeping in between as one of those parental moments that will end too soon. There have also been many nights that those cute little boys of mine get turned around as I have headed them back to bed. Sometimes, we need time to rest in our own space. I remember the midnight feedings and the convenience of the child screaming just a few feet away instead of the next room over. I also remember having to keep a whisper’s stance around the little sleeping dudes when I was not yet sleeping. I know nothing is more precious than my own sleeping children. They are so cute, so beautiful, and so QUIET (that’s my favorite part). I can’t help but wonder what my little angels are dreaming about. The animals in nature sleep curled up to their mother just as we saw in Disney’s movie, “Bambi”, so there are moments where I don’t mind snuggling up as we rest side by side.
In many Non-Western cultures, co-sleeping is very common. It is likely that sleeping patterns and sleeping bedding circumstances that are normal in the United States are not alike. WWW.KidsHealth.org does not recommend co-sleeping for those that drink, smoke, because of greater risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), or who are currently sleeping with toddlers who may not be aware of their sleeping surroundings. My mother in law, afraid that her son or I might roll on top of her grandchild, would almost have an anxiety attack if I ever talked of co-sleeping around her when my children were new to this world. The horrors of parent’s children dying of suffocation, probably adds to my less restful nights as they lie peaceful beside me. The American Academy Agrees with my Mother-in-law saying that infants sleeping in an adult bed does increase the risk of strangulation and suffocation but still does not fully take a stance on the issue one way or another.
In Billy Dean’s song, “Let Them Be Little” he urges us to hold each moment close to your heart as they are only little for a little while. He also reminds us to let them cry, let them giggle, and let them “sleep in the middle.” I intend to live for those moments as my children grow up way too fast. As I hold onto each moment, co-sleeping or not, I also have to remember in the days of On Demand video’s, facebook, and fast food, it is also our job to make sure our marriage grows stronger as our children grow day by day. So, as I carry on the “Part-Time Co-sleeping” arrangement, I would love to know how you feel about co-sleeping!
As in so many other topics discussed on this blog, this is controversial as well. I would love to hear about what works for your family. How do you make time for your marriage as your children sleep in between you and your mate? How do you continue sharing the special moments with your children as night time confines you to different rooms? Tell me how you feel about Co-sleeping. Does Co Sleeping work for you and your family?
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
My kids dont sleep in the bed with us every night, however I don't mind them coming in in the middle of the night- or coming in early in the morning and snuggling up with us until everyone is up and ready for breakfast.
Its a good balance, I think.
I soo agree with you on this!! Both of my children slept in our bed now that Emma is 2 she sleeps in her own bed until she wakes up in the middle of the night or early morning. I love holding them!! And I love that Billy Dean song too!!
Before my daughter was born, I swore that we would NEVER co-sleep. When I came to this decision, I was only thinking of my daughter as a newborn baby who could not so much as hold her head up. So, into the crib she went from day 1. Then, as she grew to around 10 months old, she began waking up in the middle of the night again. I am not sure why this happened but after a few weeks of sleepless nights (for all of us), I caved and let her come into bed with us….and that is where she remains today! She just turned 2 and while I realize that this may not be the best situation for my husband and I (we all must be creative at times…lol), I am trying to form a plan to gradually move her back to her room and her soon-to-be new big girl bed.
I think everyone needs to do what is good for them…whatever works for your family! We should listen and not judge.